NiaMassage

Musings from the Massage Chair & Table

What ‘NOT’ to Say to a Therapist (Part 3 of 3)

This is the final part of the series. If you’ve missed part one or two, you can click here and here.

What NOT to say to a massage therapist

17.         I don’t drink water. Before I was a massage therapist, I was in the same camp. I didn’t drink water AT ALL. My body let you know I didn’t either – my skin was compared to elephant hide, and I had severe acne. During a massage class, my classmates were brought up to look at my back, to see what dehydration looked like. (That really happened.) Now that I drink much more water than I have in ages, my skin is much better, and although my acne hasn’t completely cleared up, I cannot be mistaken for what high schoolers would call a ‘pizza face’.

18.         I’ve been told I give ‘pretty good’ massages. I’m glad other people think you have good hands. It’s a very good talent to have, but a few classes under your belt would not hurt! This way, you’ll know how to help someone, as opposed to making a situation worse.  Hey, people may just say that you give excellent massages then!

19.         I just came in from work; Sorry I didn’t take a shower. Unless there is thick green smoke wafting from you, body odor can be dealt with. Now with that being said, don’t jump into a porta-potty on the way to your session.

20.         I didn’t shave. I would SO rather massage a hairy body, than a stubbly one. But that’s just my preference. When you shave, you remove a layer of skin cells. You have no idea what media the therapist is using for your massage. As a result, you may end up with clogged pores or blackheads. What would you rather have – a hairy body, or backne (back acne)?

21.         Do I ‘have’ to tip? This is a *very* sensitive subject among Massage Therapists. Some therapists get fairly upset by not getting a tip. Talking to a therapist that I look up to, he put it this way –

If you’re paying full rate for a massage — tip or don’t tip, it doesn’t matter to me. I set the price at a livable wage for myself.

If you’re getting a discount because you’re on a fixed income — don’t tip. Treat your family well — except maybe at the holidays (nice, but not necessary).

If you’re redeeming a gift certificate that someone else bought — well, the buyer should have included the tip.

If you’re redeeming a gift certificate that I donated to a non-profit — definitely tip — there is still overhead associated with that massage and the opportunity cost of working for ‘free’ vs working for a paying client.

As far as I’m concerned, tip if you feel that you’ve gotten a good massage. If you can’t afford to tip, don’t feel bad about it, please. I’d much rather you feel better, and tell others about your experience. You won’t get a lesser experience because you don’t give a tip. But this is my personal opinion, based on my own experiences.

Well, what do you think? Do you have any questions or comments that weren’t covered in these past posts? I would really LOVE to know!

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What ‘NOT’ to Say to a Therapist (part 2 of 3)

This is the second part of the series. If you’ve missed part one, you can click here.

People tell me some interesting things...

People tell me some interesting things…

9.            I ache all over; Can you fix everything in one session? I could try, but it wouldn’t be a great massage. We’ll target the areas that hurt the worst, and address the rest, in the time allowed. It’s not a ploy for more appointments; it is a plan to get you feeling better.

10.         What is Qi, Xi? Pronounced, chee, it’s an Eastern term referring to energy flowing through everything. (This is a very simple description to the question. I’ll get to that in a later post.)

11.         So, what exactly does a ‘full body massage’ include? If you’re asking this question, please refer to question 5.

12.         Is it weird to rub naked bodies all day? When I was 13, and I had people tell me that I had ‘good hands’ and I should be a massage therapist, yes, the idea creeped me out. But, after all, I was 13; I didn’t even have a positive body image of myself. Now, it does not bother me at all.

13.         I’m a regular; can you cut me a deal? There’s no problem in the asking, but expecting for a ‘deal’ to be cut is presumptuous. If you’re a true regular, I’ll already be letting you know when the ‘deal’ would be coming.

14.         I want a deep tissue all over for two hours. It’s a grand plan, a 2 hour massage, but in most cases, not a good idea. It can become energy-draining to the therapist, and after about 90 minutes, not as fun as you’d think.

15.         Go as deep as you like – I can take the pressure! Please let me know as the session progresses if the pressure isn’t enough; bruises don’t look good on ANYONE.

How deep is TOO deep? Bruises don't look good on anyone.

How deep is TOO deep? Bruises don’t look good on anyone.

16.         You actually had to go to school for massage? I sure did, and I still do, to maintain my license. It keeps my training sharp, and I learn new techniques to help you feel better. Would you want someone to perform surgery, and has no proper training?

Next week is the end of this series, so far. Are there any questions that you’d like to have answered? If they aren’t covered in next week’s blog post, they will be added!

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What ‘not’ to Say to a Therapist (Part 1 of 3)

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Have you ever said any of these things to a Massage Therapist?

I came across this picture as I was finding things to pin on my Pinterest Board, and it sparked an idea for a blog post. Now most of these comments are answered in the subsequent posts, but other comments that are not in this pic are some that I’ve come across in my 12 years as a therapist.

1.            Is that a knot? It could be a knot, a lipoma, or a myriad of other things. If it’s outside of my scope of practice, I will suggest that you see a doctor to find out exactly what it is.

2.            Am I the worst you’ve ever seen? Normally I would say no, but if it’s the worst, I’d still say no. Who wants to be the ‘worst’ at anything?

3.            Sorry I’m 20 minutes late…Can I still get my full hour? No, it’s inconsiderate to expect to get a full hour when you are that late to an appointment, especially if you haven’t called. You will get whatever the remainder of the session time is, for the full price. Now, if I’m late, you are absolutely sure to get the hour.

4.            Oh, you’re a massage therapist; does that mean I get one for free? Unless you’re my husband, no. I give away samples like Baskin-Robbins. They are exactly 10 seconds long. No repeats.

5.            Happy Ending? There once was a client that was really sore, and then the brilliant massage therapist got a booking online. The therapist arrived on time, and had the best therapeutic massage and the client re-booked! …And they lived happily ever after. The End. Anything else past that, I do not offer.

6.            I bet your hands get tired, huh? They do, but that’s why I employ other methods of getting the massage done!

7.            Wow, you’re a Massage Therapist? I’ve never met a masseuse. I call myself a Positive Attitude Adjuster. When I called myself a Negative Attitude Adjuster, no one ever wanted to make an appointment.

8.            Do I really need to keep this sheet on? Unless we are performing traditional Lomi Lomi, that sheet will be draped, for your modesty and my protection. Since Lomi Lomi is not a service I provide, the short answer is YES.

This is a series of three posts, so look out for the next upcoming episode of What NOT to Say to a Therapist!

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